Last week’s blog provided tips on how to add Spring to your March wardrobe.
How can you go wrong with this colourful denim?
Don’t fear the white pair. Add a cream sweater and ankle boot!
Where: Joe Fresh
For the first time in your life, you are responsible for another human being. Feeding, changing, comforting – everything! Unfortunately, if you do not take care of yourself – you will end up rundown, depressed, sick and very tired! The healthier and happier you are as a new mom, the happier your baby will be!
Most people think you need time to stay healthy – I do not believe that. I think that being healthy is a choice, and with quick tips and a positive attitude, you can maintain your health, even as a new mom.
Self-care is important to keep ourselves going.
The most important thing I would say is – DO NOT depend on caffeine and sugar to keep you going, it will deplete you in the long run! Instead focus on these five easy tips.
5 Tips to Keep a New Mom Healthy
If you are a new mom looking to get healthy – please join me for a new moms cleanse starting on March 19th! Full details at www.jodilarrynd.com
It’s been a cold winter, which has meant lots of cozy time in front of the television enjoying our Netflix subscription.
The types of shows we watch fall into a few categories – Mom-only, Mom and Tween Daughter (sometimes son #1 join us for company, but plays on his iPad), Dad-only and finally Dads and 8 year-old boys (and sometimes big sister). So what have we been streaming?
I’ve become hooked on Suits. I kept seeing previews on USA Network while were in the US over the winter holidays, so I decided to give it a go once I got home. I like that it’s shot in Toronto and that one of the stars is from Toronto (and cute, too). The show is set in New York City with Patrick J. Adams (the Canadian guy) playing Mike Ross, a college dropout with a photographic memory masquerading as a lawyer at a top law firm. Gabriel Macht plays Harvey Specter, Mike’s mentor at the firm. Harvey knows Mike’s secret. The show is about the wheeling and dealing, backstabbing and politics at a large law firm. Add Mike’s secret and some hot romance and there you have it.
We have been able to enjoy quite a few PG and PG-13 romantic comedies and chick flicks together. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes one of my sons joins us, but covers his eyes during the kissing or plays on his iPad.
Just Go with It
Adam Sandler is always a favourite in our house. Last weekend we watched Just Go with It with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. It was pretty standard fare. Adam Sandler plays the goofy Jewish guy looking for love when it’s right under his nose and it all works out in the end. Not Academy Award material, but great fun to watch as a family.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
My daughter is familiar with Kate Hudson from her role as Cassie July in Glee, so she picked How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. If you haven’t seen it, it’s cute, funny and exactly what you would expect from a romantic comedy with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive and ladies’ man who bets that he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days. Andie Anderson writes for a ladies’ magazine and is assigned to write an article on “How to Lose a Guy in 10 days.” They meet in a bar after each of the bets are made. And…they fall in love….
The Nanny Diaries
In The Nanny Diaries, Scarlett Johansson is a college graduate who goes to work as a nanny for a super-rich New York City family. She moves into the maid’s quarters in their apartment and the job is not what she expected. She has to juggle their dysfunctional marriage (adultery), a romance with the Harvard-hottie in the building, and Graydon, the spoiled brat in her charge (who really just wants the mommy that is nowhere to be found).
Ken Burns Baseball
All of this is hearsay because I have not watched Ken Burns Baseball – Innings 1 – 9. Over 18 hours and 9 episodes (1 episode per inning), documentary-maker Ken Burns traces the history of baseball from its origins through the early 1990′s. Each episode covers a couple of decades in the 20th century and highlights some of the key players. Baseball is a game of numbers, statistics and details. Perfect for the baseball lover, but not necessarily for the baseball lover’s wife.
My husband wants to know when Derek Season 2 is going to start streaming. He watched season 1 of Derek over a couple of days. The British television comedy-drama is written by, directed by and starring Ricky Gervais. The show is set in a nursing home. Gervais, plays the lead character, Derek, a helper in the nursing home. Derek is socially awkward and could be described as simple, but it’s his caring for the residents that stands out.
All the kids and Dad watched The Croods. The Croods is the story of a cave family whose cave is destroyed and must travel through an unfamiliar world. It’s a terrific adventure with lots of humour to please the adults.
Following WW2, John Bowlby did research on children orphaned by the war in Europe. His findings confirmed that emotional starvation and the absence of loving contact is as detrimental as not getting proper nutrition.
Later, he and another researcher, Mary Ainsworth, created the Strange Experiment. Mothers were invited to bring their child into an unfamiliar room and leave their child with a stranger while the researchers observed how the children reacted to the separation and reunion.
Most kids were upset when their mother left the room (they cried and/or threw toys). Some children were able to calm themselves quickly and reconnect easily with their mom when she came back into the room. Others reacted to the return of the mother with anxiety, aggression, or nonchalance. The kids who could calm themselves usually had warm responsive mothers, while the moms of the anxious and angry kids were sometimes warm and loving and at other times physically or emotionally abusive. The mothers of the detached children were often cold and dismissive.
It wasn’t until the 1990s that Attachment Theory was applied to adult relationships. Sue Johnson and Jim Coan did a series of MRI studies that test Attachment Theory.
In one experiment a woman is put in the MRI scanner and given a shock. The woman was either shocked while alone, holding the hand of a stranger, or holding the hand of her partner with whom she described the relationship as happy. The pain ratings and brain activity were highest (more pain and fear was felt and reported) when the woman was alone and lowest (less pain and fear was felt and reported) when holding the hand of her husband.
They did a follow up to this study using women in unhappy marriages and then providing the couples with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The finding of this version of the experiment showed that when the distress in a marriage is replaced with a secure connection the experience of the shock downgraded from pain to discomfort and there is significantly less fear and activity in the brain.
Relationship distress can also negatively impact our immune system and our ability to heal. Janice Kiecolt-Glaser used a vacuum pump on the hands of women to create blisters and then had them argue with their husband. The more tumultuous the argument, the longer it took the woman’s skin to heal.
Other researchers like Naomi Eisenberger have shown through her brain imaging studies that rejection triggers the same circuits in the brain as physical pain. This research ties in nicely with why it literally hurts so much to be ignored or rejected.
In Ed Tronick’s Still Face Experiment (you can also google this to see it in action) a mother stops interacting playfully with her child and puts on a neutral or still face. The youngster will then try re-engaging the mom and becomes quite distressed when she does not respond. Studies have shown that withdrawal, whether real or imagined, activates a part of the brain called the limbic system, specifically the amygdala, known, in part, for the production and regulation of emotion. When someone walks out of the room, stops responding to e-mails, ignores your phone calls, or does not reply (or puts on a still face) when asked a direct question, the alarm bells in the brain go off and trigger a kind of primal panic resulting in fight, flight, or freeze.
As you can see there is a lot of research on the science of love (I have only scratched the surface), and what impact the health of the relationship has on your own mental and physical health. It also influences your sexual health and the desire to be physically close (or not) to your partner. The good news is that there are skills and tools that can be learned and implemented which can change insecure attachment and unhappy marriages into more secure and solid relationships, which then lead to healthier partnerships and better sex. I’ll talk about those in my next blog.
The postings on this blog are Rae Dolman’s and do not necessarily represent Mount Sinai Hospital’s positions or opinions.
Some might say the process of the algorithm, the set of rules followed in calculations by a computer, is what connects us to our communities in the electronic social media world. Others, the more spiritual types, might say it is the universe’s way that connects us.
How much of our purposeful efforts are dependent on the computer instructions and how much of it is our karma?
I think it is intriguing to contemplate how we are in control of our own karma and what role connection plays.
Karma has become one of those buzz words that is overused in our pop culture and social media world today. Perhaps, Culture Club front man Boy George, explained it best with one of the best-selling singles of all time worldwide, Karma-Chameleon. The song basically says, if you aren’t true, if you don’t act like you feel, then you get Karma-justice, and that’s nature’s way of paying you back. In other words, it is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings. We are responsible for our own happiness and misery.
We are the architects of our own fate, not Facebook and not the modern day algorithms.
In Yoga, the Sutras are considered to be the most organized and complete collection of aphorisms in the form of a manual definition of the discipline. They are meant to provide us with a thorough and consistent philosophical basis that also clarifies many important esoteric concepts like karma.
With my understanding of the Sutras, I am led to believe it was no accident of fate, that I recently reconnected with one of my oldest and dearest friends, after being estranged for 25 years. It wasn’t the algorithmic vibration that directed my news feed into her daily social media updates, but simply our time to reconnect by virtue of our kindred karma connection.
Reconnection and rebirthing are words that are very much associated with karma. When my “bestie” reached out to me in the way of encouragement and support, perhaps it was her karmic vibrations that made me feel like a new path and journey was now available for us to travel. She, for some reason, wanted to talk to me about her crossroads in life. I suppose, after so many years of distance, she must have felt a sense in comfort in finding out what my past experiences could shed on her future choices. Perhaps that is slightly presumptuous of me to think that I would have that kind of impact or inspiration for her, except that I know if the roles were reversed, and I reached out to her, I would be forever changed by her acceptance and open arms.
It was at this moment, I realized our karma was now an energy exchange traveling more parallel than it had in years. Our vibrations were more in synchronization and our distance no longer mattered. We were beginning to shift the past actions into a synergy of communications that were creating a new fate and a new beginning for each other.
I believe when you authentically love someone, romantically or platonically, there remains a placeholder in your heart for him or her…always. Once we are able to conquer the strife, the sorrow, the loss, the anger, or any other negative feelings that might temporarily fill that hole where the love once existed, you can be the creator of a new and more productive path again. This is our karma. Once we realize we can take control and become the creators of our own destiny, the designers of our own fate, we can fully experience the meaning of what it is like to be a karma-chameleon.