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I have made a new friend. If I was five, ten, even twenty, this statement wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary. But, for a woman nearing 40, it is.
It’s harder to make, and keep friends, as we get older. Life changes, we move at different paces and often the demands of our families and jobs take precedence over our other relationships. And, unless that person is a pretty good friend, not much is getting you off the couch after the kids have gone to bed.
Which is why I’m so glad that I made this friend. She’s funny, smart, a mom like me and we have a lot of the same interests. And, as a stay-at-home mom, it’s great that she’s one too. It’s a source of support during the days that can seem so long sometimes, not to mention a source of adult conversation.
So, as I watch my daughter make friends of her own at the age of five, there are so many things that I want to tell her about her own friendships to come, things that I wish I had known growing up. I want her to know that friendships come and go, and if they do go, it often has nothing to do with anything you’ve done. Young friendships can be fickle and based on an factors that have little to do with the actual individual themselves.
I want her to choose her friendships wisely. Your friendship is one of the most precious gifts you can give someone, and many times we can bestow it on those who may not fully deserve it.
I hope that she bases her friend selection on who she truly likes and finds interesting, not who is the most popular, the “it” girl of the moment. I want her to have the confidence to befriend anyone she wants and not turn away friendship for fear of ridicule.
I want to tell her not to sweat the small stuff, but I know that’s easy for me to say in hindsight. Fights, feuds, same-boy crushes, clothing choices, they all mean nothing once you’ve reached adulthood. And any real friendships will have survived all you can throw at it.
And finally, it’s ok to end a friendship when it’s no longer giving you what you need. When a friendship becomes more work than it should be, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the terms.
But most importantly I know that in order to pass all of these tips down to her son or daughter one day, she needs to experience the heartaches and cruelty that friendships can bring. And I’ll be here with some cookies and a hug when they do.
There isn’t much time with young children to get ready for an evening out but it is party season…so let’s put on your Party Face! Start with a Face Primer to combat dry skin this time of year. If you have oily skin just use on your cheekbones. Then use a damp sponge to blend a full coverage foundation all over the center of your face blending outwards for even quick coverage, use over your eyelids as well especially if you do not have an eyelid primer.
Fill in your brows to keep them shaped to frame your eye and defined, a little trick is to brush them through with a spool or clean mascara wand after filling in. Then use a base shadow with a slight sheen with a flat shader brush, slight shimmers are great for opening tired eyes and reflecting light for evening.
Use eye liner by blending from outside in thicker to thin using the new Gel Liners that are soft and easy to blend will give you a quick smokey eye or sculpted drama, Blinc makes a new Ultra Fine Liner for a more precise line.
Use a deeper coloured eye shadow with a crease brush to contour the eye and starting under the arch of the brow and blend in a semi circle, onto the eyelid and outwards. Use a thickening mascara to build the lashes from the root slide sideways and outwards and on the bottom lashes trying not to lift the brush away from the lashes.
Stain the lips with lipstick or use lip pencil to stain and then add only a touch of lip gloss and your lips will last longer. Use a touch of bronzer starting at the middle ear at the hairline and use the largest brush you have to shape the angles of your face and just a hint of blush to the front of your cheek, using cream or powder blush whichever suits the texture of your skin.
Susan Kirsch is a professional makeup artist with a specialty in camouflage, teaching one-on-one personalized makeup lessons. Owner of both PANDORA’S Makeup Box and the Kirsch Cosmetic Studio in Toronto, Susan Kirsch has been teaching people the art of makeup and beauty for over 20 years. You can contact Susan at the studio at 416-487-4887 or visit her online at www.pandorasmakeupbox.com or www.kirschcosmeticstudio.com.